Target

So my new Friday night hangout?  Target or tar jay as we feel it gives the pronunciation a French flair ( just kidding).  Luckily, I am not the only person where this has been become their Friday norm. I saw one couple with starbucks I. Their hands just strolling around with their daughter in the girls clothing section.  I wonder, is Target the new what used to be hang out at the mall?  There are no more bookstores, no more huge food courts with food that rivals carnival junk food, no more arcades, so I guess hangin at Target is where it's at? 

Lies

The title of this log may sound harsh but there are so many lies /misleading tidbits out there for new Mommies. Nor example, today an e - newsletter from we shall say brand x of parenthood sites came today.  I signed up for this newsletter as it shares info on weekly changes/what to look for with our baby every week she gets older.  Okay cool until today I read it and it has a little paragraph about going back to work vs SAHM (stay at home mom) and how it is natural to question your decision and the part that made my blood boil was when it said that it is never too late to change your mind.  Then it said you had to think about it emotionally and financially.  Well malarkey - my emotions are screaming quit quit quit but the reality is that my job covers my husband and now my daughters medical/Dental/vision and even life ins on myself and my husband.  And the medical plan is really really good like we did not pay a penny for my hospital delivery. Then you add that my salary pays around 40 percent of household bills like cable/utilities and our shopping / grocery budget and I have a free car I want to find the author of that terrible tip and ask them how is it not too late to change my mind?  We have our budget typed/excel sheet format and know our finances to a t ....so how can I change my mind nitwit when I am supposed to return to work in 3 weeks and your little article says I can just proof change my mind and in 3 weeks we replace a car, now take on extra expense of gas for 2 cars and health insurance and just magically create the money that pays for the bills and groceries?  Yeah I guess the author didn't consider that there are women out there bringing home the bacon and can't just drop a job because it is "never too late to change our mind". That is my vent for today but to the women working hard for the money, bringing home the bacon, being a significant financial contributor to their household or equal contributor or bread winner , not just working small time but really hoofing it out there - God bless you!

Emotions

And not like sweet emotions Aerosmith but all of a sudden I am sappy/ corny/ tear up at "Parenthood"/even when Clark gets the lights to work on "Christmas Vacation."  

No this is not post partum, this is I am part of the parent club now and so have a different view on life, different perspective, and feel emotions I did not know pre-parenthood.  Just sayin :) 

Mom blogs

So reading a supposedly helpful blog from a Mom that says she is a stay at home but in the same blog shares that she works outside the home and then later states she is a wellness coach.  Well...where up begin:

1.  I think she is having a true identity crisis in defining her own label of who she is/where she is at in her life 

2.  Wellness coach?  Green smoothies?  Steel cut oatmeal?  Gag.... I am all for healthy living but this sounds as trendy as  the J Crew spring catalog 

Why do we as Moms have to put a label on "working Mom"vs stay at home?  Don't both titles require a lot of work?  Why can't we all say we are working Moms?  Especially when I find more and more "stay at home" Moms are actually working from home or part time etc.... Either way working vs stay at home both just want what is best for their family right?  I hate the labels just saying 

And would really like to see a blog from a Mom that shows us how to have a smooth morning where it is not all crunchy granola perfect every day but who is honest and says yep every

Now and then if the kids are having a kranky morning we had a pop tart and enjoyed it!  Just saying I was raised on steel cut oatmeal, homemade cinnamon toast and occasionally we had pop tarts, donuts, cereal for breakfast and my blood pressure is 110/60 and I am not obese - it is possible to not drink green smoothies every day and still be healthy :) 

Daycare

So today we went to visit a daycare just to see if we were certain we wanted a nanny.  This daycare is in an affluent area,  has the highest star rankings, accredited, etc....5 minutes there I was ready to go and bolt for the door.  Hubby convinced me to stay and then 1/2 way through he was ready to go but I finished the official tour and let me just say there is nothing wrong with this place, it was cheery, nice staff, but the 1:4 ratio was just killing me. And from what I hear that is above par compared to most daycares where apparently 1:5 is average....1:5?!  I cannot imagine our girl being shared rocking time / cuddle time /feeding time with 3 or 4 other babies - there was one baby propped on a boppy pillow and again this is totally ok with her age range but the teacher was feeding another baby their bottle and while the baby in the boppy was crying she just had to wait there and cry until the teacher was done feeding the other baby.  I so wanted to pick that sweet baby up and comfort her - it made my heart ache to see her unhappy just for those few moments but I was pretty sure if I picked her up they would be escorting me out the door.  Again, nothing wrong with what was going in , there were 4 babies to 1 teacher but although this was a cheerful little place I just could not imagine our precious girl waiting for attention or cuddles so we decided as a mommy/daddy team a nanny is definitely the way to go.  Now, to get the kind of nanny (Mary Poppins) that we want it will cost more than if our girl were in college but for my heart to not drop and stay calm it is worth every penny.  On to finding our Mary!

Lucky

I am so lucky to have such a sweet / good baby!  I think The Lord knew I am not the most maternal and this Mommy could use extra help with such a good baby.  Seriously, prior to having our own baby I have maybe changed 12 diapers total in my life.  I love how even in the year 2015 media portrays women to have these "natural" mommy instincts - umm not quite for yuppy mommy.  Other than picking out a coach diaper bag I did not have mommy tendencies or experience which would explain the 3, yes 3 parenting classes and CPR class her daddy and I took in addition to now owning a small library of pregnant/child rearing books.  

Nanny interviews

So first interview with first nanny - awesome!  But super type a/ triple check everything here, I am going to interview 5 or so before deciding but today hippy nanny candidate not going to work.  What was funny is that hubby was more concerned than me - and I was a college Republican officer that is how far back my conservative roots go.  I think it was when she described her applying to colleges after traveling in Europe before college which also means we would have to hire a new nanny in 6 months that hubby was ready for her to go.   

Late

Today was a really good day except baby wanted to be held for hours.  I love holding baby that is great but that means very little else can be accomplished without one hand and iPhone such as laundry, light bulbs to be changed, trash taken out for trash day, getting bottles ready, etc.... So when spouse leaves for work at 7:30 am and does not come home from work/tennis until 9:50 pm not a happy mommy but we talked about it and mommy is doing better :) 

Nanny

Yes we want a nanny.  No we do not think it is superior to taking a child to daycare and no thank you, we really don't want to hear all sides of all arguments of stay at home vs nanny vs relative watching baby vs daycare.  This is just what we are comfortable with as we do not have family that live near us and we as husband/wife made this decision together.

Also- if it were as simple as "doing more with less" believe me I would be all about it.  The do more with less was a tip given to yuppy Mommy as YM was looking for some encouragement about going back to work.  Yep its 

that simple to walk away from co car/gas (YM has not had a car payment in 10 years), stock options, 401k match, great health ins, quarterly and annual bonuses - especially when husband is self employed and on Mommy's benefits and sometimes has crummy clients that don't pay or are way way behind on their bill- it is nice to have Mommy's steady pay coming in. :)

That is my YM vent for the day but just saying it's not like this mommy has a job that is Hourly only with no benefits that would be easy to quit to SAH - it is a little more complicated 

Emotions

So this yuppy, career focused, wanna be Tiger lady is now feeling emotions???

I was not expecting this at all.  I knew I would love my baby but I thought I would be right and ready to hire child care and go back to work and have it all right??? Sounds great but I was so so wrong.

My whole life I wanted to prove that as a woman I could have a successful career, compete right alongside and surpass a man, that a Christian woman can have every bit as much determination and grit as a man and still succeed.  And I have accomplished many of those things but now with these Mommy emotions I am so at a loss because now it isn't about whether or not I can/will conquer my next challenger, it is about do I want to?  And the really really scary part is right now I don't - I think I would be okay just being this beautiful child's Mommy .  I no longer have to prove I can merge 7 figure deals, win titles/earn promotions- now I just want to be this child's Mommy.

Well, let me tell you,  these are emotions I was not counting on dealing with for 2015.  Former yuppy self would just dig her heels in and put in more hours if emotions got in the way and if that didn't work then a Prada or Louis would justify all the time for the extra work right?  Now it all seems to have changed on me and while I have to go back to work (good ole school loans ) I am totally clueless about how to deal with this - the last thing I want /need is another designer bag so where do I channel these super charged emotions?  Tbd for now but 3 cookies finished were a good start for today 

This was supposed to start 01/01/15

But...being a new Mommy tends to delay the best plans!  This blog is intended to be brutally honest about being a first time Mom and fill in the huge gaps the books don't cover so sit back, relax, and enjoy!

First lesson/observation/ frustration reality check I would like to blog from yuppy meets reality Mommy (YMR) from now on because if you think I have time to type that out every time well them you need to check out another blog.  

But lesson #1 the wonderful books/apps/sites that say sleep when the baby sleeps....yeah I want to find the morons that shared this brilliant tip and attack them.  I am talking  go Game of Thrones /Khaleesi /go get em attack.  Why? Hmmm here are a few reasons why I hate hate hate that so called "advice/tip":

1.  The first two weeks if you are super hyper/type a like me you are literally on the edge of your bed /wide awake/shaking with fear worrying if baby is sleeping, breathing, realizing I am totally responsible for this precious little person.  Wonderful and yet terrifying !!!

2.  Then your brain literally is going all different directions and you can't sleep - mommy insomnia is my psychological description for this sleep challenge.

3.  If I "sleep when the baby sleeps" then who is going to wash the bottles, get the bottles ready for the next feeding/check diaper /wipes inventory/do baby laundry???  

4.  If you have a baby around the holidays who is going to shop/wrap gifts and make some treats for your husband to take to work and make your first family Christmas card /pic debut?

Some good advice would sound like this:

It is going to be really tough the first month - try to sneak naps when you can but take heart, you do get used to the lack of sleep :) 

Good nite everyone - I am going to try and grab a quick nap before next feeding  time :)