I was not expecting this at all. I knew I would love my baby but I thought I would be right and ready to hire child care and go back to work and have it all right??? Sounds great but I was so so wrong.
My whole life I wanted to prove that as a woman I could have a successful career, compete right alongside and surpass a man, that a Christian woman can have every bit as much determination and grit as a man and still succeed. And I have accomplished many of those things but now with these Mommy emotions I am so at a loss because now it isn't about whether or not I can/will conquer my next challenger, it is about do I want to? And the really really scary part is right now I don't - I think I would be okay just being this beautiful child's Mommy . I no longer have to prove I can merge 7 figure deals, win titles/earn promotions- now I just want to be this child's Mommy.
Well, let me tell you, these are emotions I was not counting on dealing with for 2015. Former yuppy self would just dig her heels in and put in more hours if emotions got in the way and if that didn't work then a Prada or Louis would justify all the time for the extra work right? Now it all seems to have changed on me and while I have to go back to work (good ole school loans ) I am totally clueless about how to deal with this - the last thing I want /need is another designer bag so where do I channel these super charged emotions? Tbd for now but 3 cookies finished were a good start for today
No comments:
Post a Comment